Shite Comics #3: Adventures of Dr Phil and Mario

“A Few Classic charaters in a not so classic world”

Let me just repeat that title: Adventures of Dr Phil and Mario. How much cough syrup does one need to ingest to come up with an idea like this? According to the quality of A.V.’s comic here, at least two whole bottles.

After reading a bit of this, I can’t tell if this is supposed to be a troll comic or not. A.V.’s other comics have the same crappy quality as this one so we may not be certain until further reading.

On to the diagnosis!

title

Already the red flags are flying. You’ve got a low-resolution picture of the SMB3 show DVD case with Dr. Phil slapped on it, and that somehow means quality issue. I’m getting bad vibes of the “Pooh’s Adventures” video series (don’t look it up) from this.

1-Phil

Did anybody else read Neglected Characters Comix? Because this is seriously reminding me of that.

For those of you who don’t know, it was one of the first sprite comic series and was about lesser known video game characters like Bugzzy from Kirby and Pidgit from SMB2. The comic’s art style was similar to this in which famous people were portrayed as their head with a stickman’s body drawn under it. Although thinking about it, Dr. Phil here was probably stolen from NC Comix. I can’t be bothered to dig around, but I’ll update if I do find him.

If this is supposed to be a “Meating”, then where’s the beef?

next

This is such a tale of epic proportions that I can hardly wait.

next 2

Not sure how A.V. managed to get Word Art into MS Paint. But I do know he’s never heard of multi-paneled comics.

goomba

That poor Goomba’s already been squished sidewise before he joined the battle.

another next for a title

It’s only dawned on me now that this isn’t a troll making this comic: this is a legitimate moron who thinks he’s gonna be the next Stan Lee.

yet another next

Good for Mario to learn a new hobby outside of saving Toadstool on a regular basis. Now he can make Bowser a basket as a peace offering.

you might be a redneck if you think insink is were your dishes are

What do Jeff Foxworthy jokes have to do with Simon Cowell? And it wasn’t “insink”, it was “N*SYNC”.

this won has a black back round

I’m not even halfway through and I’m already running out of things to say. This is just so bad it’s bland.

Episode uh… i lost count

Actually it’s episode 10 right now, but it would actually be #2 if you, I dunno, grouped the comics together.

I couldn’t tell which order these guys were talking in the first time until I re-read this.

another comic by me

These titles are about as creative as… something. I’m drawing blanks here. Speaking of drawing blanks, there’s so much white space in these comics it’s ridiculous.

Simon Cowell’s the only American Idol judge who’s very harsh yet honest when it comes to telling people they suck at singing, yet everybody misinterprets him as being a Grumpy Gus who hates music. Gee, a cynical British person? I didn’t know such a thing existed.

E=MC2

Trying to guess what Albert Einstein’s final words were is more fun than reading this.

dont cross the beams

I see A.V.’s given up on titles and resorted to pop culture jokes. Talk about swell.

“i will leave no peice of pizza un eaten” Mario

That title flew right past my head, but it does sound familiar.

Dr. Phil Musta? I like the sound of that.

“Give me you past or die” Mario

Has my brain gone numb again? …Yep. It did.

Heres Regis

This comic feels like a really bad episode of The Simpsons that resorts to too many celebrities to draw viewers in. Only with no humor attempted at all.

Now in Better quawlity

Wow, no kidding. This comic is suddenly less appalling to look at thanks to the high-res picture of Dr. Phil Musta. And the text is more legible to boot.

The quality of the writing, however, still leaves something to be desired.

“Luigi is not a loser” L.M.

iDots? Is that the virtual fan club for Dippin’ Dots?

Poor A.V. thinks he’s actually a good writer.

i fixed the sprites!!!!!!!

Before starting this critique, I already imagined Yellow Mario as Wario just out of assumption. So if I’m correct, Purple Mario should be Waluigi.

Wow another person

What’d I tell ya? And the horrible sprite stretching now makes the other three Marios look just like their regular counterparts.

Now Dr. Musta’s learned the art of we(a)ving as well. If anybody needs new patio furniture made, he’s your guy.

No that is not #2

I am honestly running on empty talking about AoDPaM. The fact that this isn’t a troll comic is astonishing.

Also I’m gonna call Waluigi “Wario Fart” from this point on because why the hell not. He told him to go.

I am the Writer

Who’s the writer? Wario? Highly doubt it. The closest thing that porker’s ever come to writing is the instructions to a microgame.

I don’t remember Wario and Wario Fart being so violent towards each other.

New Sprites

Much like a phoenix forgetting to rise out of its ashes, AoDPaM was given a hardly noticeable new coat of paint. Although what is most noticile is Dr. Musta gaining a new body instead of his dopey old stick figure self.

He looks a bit like an aging Hulk Hogan ready for a legal battle.

Shadow Apears

They probably would notice you if they looked up and saw the sky box above them. And “Shadow Mario”? Why not just reuse “Blue Goo Mario” from Super Mario Sunshine?

I bet Wario Fart’s teleporting himself to a better comic.

What has happing??????

“Nah nah I hope we do not.” – James Birdsong (Guest)

You took the words right out of my mouth, James.

Ding Ding

“Oy actually maybe somewhat good.” – James Birdsong (Guest)

Son of a bitch betrayed me at the last second. This is not good at all, nor is this real wrasslin’. I know people bring in the folding chairs at WWF matches, but using a lightsaber would technically be illegal since you could just slice-and-dice your opponent to bits. Less wrasslin’, more murder.

Another Diffent color card

I think my eyes just threw up.

Why is James the only person commenting on these comics?

Dun Dun Dunah

Once again I predicted what would happen next with somebody noticing the sky box that’s been there all this time. This is so boring, cleaning my fingernails is more fun than attempting to form coherent thoughts about this shit.

No my comixs are in a new format

Man, it’s really hot in here. The weather sucks and I’m just ramblin’ on about nothing.

Mean while

Fuck off with these stupid intermission comics. Imagine reading through the Sunday funnies only to find this week’s Garfield strip replaced with a giant “SOME TIME LATER…“, then having to wait another week for a lasagna joke.

This is not how you make comics.

Here we go!!!!!!

Dear Christ this artwork is atrocious.

I was so glad this comic left out Mary Sue author avatars up until this point. Now it’s even more terrible then what it already began as.

Sonic

This is by far the worst issue A.V.’s ever made. Where to begin?

A.) The writing is horrible broken and ruined any chance of a joke this issue was supposed to have.

2.) 32-bit Sonic is very out of place in his 16-bit Genesis world. No wait, he’s just plastered over 16-bit Sonic (Why?)

III.) The goddamn bottom strip is literally a copy-and-paste job. Sonic’s dialogue isn’t even gone, let alone changed!

sonic again??????

A.V. are you trying to be funny? Because you’re not. And you’ll never be, you talentless hack.

You could’ve just saved Wario and Wario Fart’s escapades for another issue instead of shoving it in the middle.

Pixleifaction

If you don’t have multiple speech bubbles, it just looks like you’re talking to yourself like a madman. And that’s not how you spell “pixle”. It’s “pixel”. Even the most retarded sprite comic creators know how to spell it.

Writers new form

We did it once again folks: we’ve reached the end of the line. Another comic that has no ending and just stops abruptly during the middle of a story.

Now we’ll never find out who “Big O” is. But that’s nothing to cry over.


So, uh… that was Adventures of Dr Phil and Mario everyone. I know I was going to expect a bad comic, but I wasn’t expecting one of such caliber that I’d run out of things to say nearly halfway through. Honestly there’s not much more I can say, because I really don’t want to ever talk about this comic again. It’s painfully bad.

For those of you who didn’t close your browser while reading this, I present to you three bonus A.V. comics:

“Everything is fine untill a new foe shows up.”

The Call

“Blue alert Blue alert Enemy infiltrayed attacking with horrible puns and wepons of mass destruction!!!!!!!!!!”

1!!!!

“You tell me.”

#1

If you haven’t guessed by now, none of these comics made it past the first issue. Clearly A.V. didn’t that much of a shit in his future comics, but he hasn’t logged onto SmackJeeves in over 5 years. Maybe he’s moved on from his terrible past and has a better life ahead of him.

Or maybe he’s still making terrible comics. Who knows.

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